All alcoholics and addicts feel shame. It’s impossible to avoid, and while shame is painful and can keep many of us stuck in the throes of addiction, there is hope. We do not have to be defined by our shame, and indeed learning tools to cope with shame and learn and grow as people is an integral part of recovery.
To begin with, though, it’s important to define shame. One way to do this is to clarify the difference between shame and guilt. Guilt is feeling badly about something we’ve done, and shame is feeling badly about who we are. Guilt is based on actions, and shame is built on feelings. Another way to put it is this: When we feel guilty we feel we made a mistake. When we feel shame we feel we are a mistake.
In this show, we talked about building tools to identify shame, build awareness of it, talk about the importance of reaching out to reduce the power shame holds over you, and discuss the power of story and voice in reducing and even eliminating the hold shame has in your life.
Listen to the show below:
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One
major issue that keeps people stuck in the cycle of alcoholism, even
when they know they have a problem, or a niggling doubt that their
drinking is getting worse, is SHAME.
On
this episode we will hear from six women who are brand new to sobriety,
have had more than one Day One recently, but who are still out there
swinging, talking to people, becoming part of community, and telling
their story - bravely - to offer hope to others and to help heal
themselves.
The antidote to shame is truth.
Through
the power of story we share our truths; we're not trying to give
answers, or how-to's. They are sharing their stories to demonstrate
that the only thing anyone can do wrong is not try at all, not reach out
for help, not love yourself enough to face their drinking head-on.
You can listen through the widget below, or look in the tab above to find out how to subscribe to our podcast!
Guilt and shame are frequently thought of as the same
concept, and the terms are often used interchangeably, they seem to go
hand in hand; however, they are not the same. Both emotions involve
concepts of “wrong” behavior or having done something “wrong,” either by
omission or commission. They also both involve negative emotions and
feelings. On this show, we will explore the difference in these
two heavy words.
"Guilt says I've done something wrong; shame says there is something
wrong with me.
Guilt says I've made a mistake; shame says I am a mistake.
Guilt says what did was not good; shame says I am no good." Shame is so common in recovery - especially early
recovery. Coming to terms with the things we did while actively drinking
is a big part of healing. In recovery, we face not just the reality of
our own past actions, but the stigma that surrounds addiction as a
whole. There is so much hope, though. By sharing our stories
and our truths, we learn we are not alone, and the power of honesty and
community help us move out of the darkness of shame and into the light
of recovery. Shame is one of the primary things that keeps people stuck in the cycle of addiction. In this show we talk about some of the ways we deal with our own guilt and shame, through story and conversation. Listen through the widget below, or see the tab above on how to subscribe to our podcast:
Getting sober when you are young is amazing in many ways - you get to be present for most of the major milestones in your life. It also presents it's own challenges, with the pervasiveness of drugs and alcohol abuse in today's culture.
We are thrilled to Welcome Devin Fox as a featured guest on our show, along with other inspiring young people who will share their experience, strength and hope about what it's like to be young and sober.
Devin is Executive Director of Young People in Recovery, which is a movement that is united at all levels to empower young people to find and sustain recovery. Their Facebook page can be found HERE.
YPR uses voices and lived experiences to advocate, educate, and collaborate. Young People In Recovery envisions a world where all young people in or seeking recovery have the opportunity to reach their maximum potential.
The conversation about recovery and addiction is changing, and young people in recovery are at the forefront of this exciting movement. If you want to become more involved please visit YPR's website to find out more!
Please listen to this important show! NOTE: we had some technical difficulties towards the end of the show where three people dropped suddenly and there is about ten seconds of silence - but the show DOES go on so please keep listening!
You can listen live through the widget below, or follow the instructions in the tab above for how to subscribe to our podcast!
One major issue that keeps people stuck in the cycle of alcoholism, even when they know they have a problem, or a niggling doubt that their drinking is getting worse, is SHAME.
On this episode we heard from six women who are brand new to sobriety, have had more than one Day One recently, but who are still out there swinging, talking to people, becoming part of community, and telling their story - bravely - to offer hope to others and to help heal themselves.
The antidote to shame is truth.
Through the power of story we share our truths; we're not trying to give answers, or how-to's. They are sharing their stories to demonstrate that the only thing anyone can do wrong is not try at all, not reach out for help, not love yourself enough to face their drinking head-on.
What we hear in their stories is the commonalities we face - some of the things we do when we're still drinking, the ways we try desperately to hide it from loved ones, from ourselves, and then the freedom and community we feel when we finally tell our stories, talk about our feelings and find people who understand.
It doesn't matter what stage you're at with your own drinking. If you're still drinking, wondering about your drinking, newly sober or been sober awhile; we ALL have something to contribute through the power of our truths.
A common theme we heard was that when we finally told our truth, whether it was to an online community, a real-life community, a friend or family member (or even a doctor), we felt a weight lift off our shoulders. That is the weight of shame and secrecy.
The old adage is true, that the truth will set you free. Our mission at The Bubble Hour is to provide stories to help people know they aren't alone; that there IS hope, and if you join a recovery community - either online or offline (or both .. see tab above for resources) you will feel a PART OF, instead of stuck and alone.
