Dropping the "A" Word - Moving From Contemplation to Action

We get a lot of emails from people saying they are still drinking but are concerned they may have a problem, or are trying not to drink and listen to this show as one of their tools. We are so grateful that the show helps people on their journey towards, or in, sobriety.  One pattern we see is that the arc of contemplating “am I or aren’t I an alcoholic?” looks very similar for most people.  This is especially true of people who are earlier on in this process and who have yet to experience many outward ramifications from their drinking.

We can spend a lot of time thinking about whether or not we are truly an alcoholic, and this is an obstacle to taking action about your drinking.

On this show we talk about what this contemplative arc looks like, for many people, and provide a few resources that can be helpful in finding community that can help (because, as we talk about all the time on this show, community is the key to getting sober).

We mention the following online communities in this show, and we encourage you to check them out! If you want more information on the Booze Free Brigade ("BFB") and how to join this private FB community, please email us at thebubblehour@gmail.com and we can tell you how.

The other resources we mention on the show are as follows: 

www.soberrecovery.com

www.intherooms.org

www.womenforsobriety.org 

www.hazeldensocial.org 

You can listen to the show below, or go to the tab above to subscribe to our podcast! 

Imposter Syndrome

Impostor syndrome is the feeling that you’re a fraud—that you’re somehow less qualified, less deserving of success. There is the fear that you’ll be “found out," which may lead you to attempt to work longer and harder than others. This can be a source of resentment, exhaustion, and a sense of impending doom. While Impostor Syndrome is not solely the domain of alcoholics, many of us report deep attachments to perfectionism and, it's cousin, Impostor Syndrome. Many of us drank over our feelings of resentment and fear arising from the core belief that we were frauds. Now that we are sober, we can bring these fears into the light of truth. When we think, "I'm a fraud," instead of drinking, we ask, "Is that true?" We connect with our recovery communities and see the truth of our own self-worth reflected back at us in the faces of our sober friends. We learn to discard these old patterns of thinking and replace them with healthier, more balanced ones. In recovery, we find freedom from the tyranny of Impostor Syndrome.

Listen below, or follow the tab above and subscribe to our podcast!

 

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Shame Does Not Define Us - Tools, Tips & Advice for Working Through Shame

All alcoholics and addicts feel shame. It’s impossible to avoid, and while shame is painful and can keep many of us stuck in the throes of addiction, there is hope.  We do not have to be defined by our shame, and indeed learning tools to cope with shame and learn and grow as people is an integral part of recovery.

To begin with, though, it’s important to define shame.  One way to do this is to clarify the difference between shame and guilt.  Guilt is feeling badly about something we’ve done, and shame is feeling badly about who we are.   Guilt is based on actions, and shame is built on feelings.  Another way to put it is this:   When we feel guilty we feel we made a mistake.  When we feel shame we feel we are a mistake.

In this show, we talked about building tools to identify shame, build awareness of it, talk about the importance of reaching out to reduce the power shame holds over you, and discuss the power of story and voice in reducing and even eliminating the hold shame has in your life.

Listen to the show below:

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Strength in Numbers: How Community Helps Us Stay Sober

When we find we have the desire to stop drinking, we may have the urge to get sober alone. "I can do this by myself" is a common refrain in early recovery. But the solo route is a difficult trek through the thickets of recovery. At worst, it may set us up for relapse; at best, it's a lonely row to hoe. Connection with other sober people creates a safe landing place where we can wiggle out of isolation and fear and into a community where we are loved and supported. Building a network of sober friends is one of the great joys of recovery. Community helps us stay sober, as we learn from each other: we learn about the disease of alcoholism, about how to stay sober, about being of service. On this episode of The Bubble Hour, we talk about how to build and belong to a sober network - from the "new kid" jitters, to the anniversary celebrations, to the gifts of sober meet-ups. Join our podcast community, and let's stay sober together!

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