In Recovery, We Find Freedom!

"Looking back, we see that our freedom to choose badly was not, after all, a very real freedom."*

When we romanticize our drinking days, we may feel like they were carefree and we had the freedom to do as we pleased. We liked doing things our way (and we don’t like being told what to do!). Then again....on further reflection, we remember that alcohol didn’t leave us with many choices - no matter how hard we tried, no matter our best intentions, and no matter the consequences, it always called us back. It left us with shame and sadness. And, we see now, drinking was either at the root of or exacerbated all of our problems!

In sobriety, we come to find that life is for living, not enduring! We are no longer burdened with “feeding the beast,” which leaves room for a full life. We make authentic connections with our true selves and with others. We have clear sight about how to show up for our lives, without fear! In recovery, we find freedom!

*reference: The Grapevine, May 1960

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Sober "Firsts" - Part 1

Early recovery is full of “sober firsts”. They seem to come fast and furious in the initial weeks and months, and can be overwhelming at times. Eventually, the “firsts” are fewer and further between, but their infrequency can make them feel more jarring. On this episode of The Bubble Hour we look at “sober firsts” of three major types:

• “Mixing with the Normies” – going back to the places and situations where drinking is part of the milieu, now as a person in recovery
• “Engaging in Recovery” – new places and situations you encounter once you quit drinking
• “Sober and Solo” – the things you go to or through on your own.

Join us and our guests as we talk about what these experiences were like for us and some tips for navigating these challenges of early sobriety.

We had so much to talk about on this show we couldn't get to it all, so stay tuned for Part 2!

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Codependency: Detaching With Love

Have you ever wondered why you can’t seem to maintain a healthy relationship? Do you feel like people take advantage of your kind heart and generosity? Do you feel a sense of responsibility for your loved one's happiness? If any of these questions ring true for you, you may be a codependent.

Codependency is an emotional behavior that affects our ability to have healthy, mutually-satisfying relationships. It is often found in individuals who are in a relationship with an addicted person or someone with a mental illness. Codependents often have low self-esteem and look for anything outside of themselves to make them feel better…including drugs and alcohol or other compulsive behaviors so you can see why this is an important topic for us to understand and address.

On this episode of The Bubble Hour we dig into the nature of a codependency and discuss how we can “detach with love” so that we can enjoy healthy, happy relationships with our loved ones.

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Perfectionism

When we are active in an addiction, we can feel like there is no one else in the whole world like us. “Alcoholics are screw ups and losers,” we tell ourselves, “whereas I seemed to have developed this drinking problem in spite of doing everything else in my life to a high level of excellence. I am the most unlikely alcoholic ever.” In fact, alcoholics share many common personality traits, and surprisingly that includes perfectionism. On this episode we discuss the various ways perfectionism can manifest in our lives, why it is so common to those who struggle with addiction, and some suggestions for easing perfectionist ways.

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Speaker/Discussion "Meeting" with Jo

In recovery meetings it is common practice for one person to share their experience, strength and hope and then to pick a recovery topic for the group to discuss. We thought it would be great to recreate that concept here on The Bubble Hour. Hearing that there are other people just like us with the same experiences, thoughts, feelings is revolutionary.  Tune in to this week's episode to hear our guest's story and topic of discussion. 

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Re-Broadcast: Am I or Aren't I?

Am I an alcoholic?  Or not? This is one of the most frequent questions we're asked from people who are wondering about their drinking. The only person who can answer this question, though, is the person asking it.

Alcoholism is a disease that relies on the patient to diagnose his/herself. Even though our factual experiences/stories are different, we find out in recovery that we share some common experiences and emotions (commonly known as "signposts") as we progress down the road of addiction. The hardest signs to recognize are the sneaky, subtle ones that happen earlier on in the 'drinking arc'.  As the disease progresses, the signs become more obvious, but many of us normalize it somehow, or are simply in straight out denial that our drinking is becoming a problem.

This show features special guest Michele, who shares some of her own signposts, and Lisa and Ellie contribute some of theirs as well.

There is no one way to define "alcoholic".  In fact, that label keeps many people stuck and alone.  In this show we focus on the common feelings and experiences - things we wish we'd known along our own path were warning signs.

It's not how much or how often you drink, it's what it does to you that matters.

That's what this episode is all about; our similarities, and the fact that you're NOT alone.

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Beyond Our Best Thinking: Surrendering the Ego in Recovery

We all want to be individuals and to present an image to the world that we are capable, in control, and essentially put together.  Besides, the world is a scary place:  vulnerability and honesty might put us in danger if people really knew us. Our egos say, “I am responsible for your survival.  Trust me.  I’m in control.”  

This is our best thinking.  

We hang on to it even though our Egos can lead us to feel angry, resentful, defensive, frightened.  Or completely alone and fraudulent, afraid that people will find out who we really are at our core.  We scramble to maintain the image that we’re in control.  We want to do things our way, on our own steam.  We are still cautious about letting people in.

This kind of thinking can persist even in sobriety and can present a danger to our recovery.  Join us as we talk about how Ego-thinking contributed to our drinking and disturbed our peace of mind, and how connection, compassion, and authenticity  brought us serenity and keeps us sober.

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